A wealthy man, looking for a shidduch for his only daughter, was keen on a particular bachur who was outstanding in Torah and middos. The father of the bachur, however, lived in a distant city, so the rich man sent his luxurious carriage so that they could make the arrangements in person.
However, when the two men met, the father of the young man was unwilling to agree to the shidduch. The wealthy man then offered him a huge sum of money to win him over. “If you will agree to the shidduch now, I will give you 400 additional zuz.” However, the father of the bachur was not amenable.
The father then turned to the young man himself and convinced him to agree to the shidduch, which he did. The shidduch was formalized without the consent of the father. After they had signed the tena’im, the father of the chosson approached the rich man and asked him for the 400 zuz. The father of the kallah said, “I promised you that money only if you would assent to the shidduch; now that the agreement has already been formalized and signed without your haskamah I don’t owe you anything.”
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6 comments:
IS THAT SOOOOOOOO ?
What a typ ! Shame on him
We learn in Iggeres Haramban that: "Humility- This sterling quality is the finest of all admirable traits." This quote is parallel to the Rambam's: "Humility is the ladder which leads to sublime heights. Remember: There is no ornament as attractive as humility.
Bad person stay bad person, what about a luck of his only doughter ?
Tomer Devorah (ch.II) states that humility is the key factor in achieving/ perfecting all other middos. Meaning that when one can truely have humility a part of them, then it is as if they open a pure pathway that allows Divine "energy" to flow through. When we make humility a part of our nature, we can filter out all Gaivadik (and other) feelings and be more attuned to the needs and desires of our Creator, the Ribbono Shel Olam.
The Shevet Mussar (ch.17) teaches us a few ways we can achieve humility:
Speaking gently- Always be in control of your emotions and speak in agentle tone of voice regardless of who you speak to.
Accepting praise- When one is undervingly praise, be quick to disagree. and when justifyiably praised and honored, one should be abashed; because there's always so much left for all of us to accomplish.
Avoiding revenge- when one has the midda of humility, he does not take revenge. A humble person is slow to anger and offend and can slowly with time, erase the insult from his memory.
Acceptance- A humble person can accept Tzaros with continuous love for HKBH.
A humble person is Zocheh for special HAshgacha Pratis, as Dovid Hamelech said: "He leads the humble with justice and will teach the humble His way." -Tehilim-25:9
Sefer HaMiddos tells us: As soon as the world begin to devoloe a humble trait in all its people, then we can all expect the coming of Moshiach!(Sanhedrin 98a)
Menoras HaMeor adds that the most humble men that lived, will be honored as heroes in the times of Moshiach- "When Hash-m shows favor to His nation, He will glorify the humble at the time of Salvation"- Tehilim (149:4)
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